Balancing Words

If keyboard helps to tell you things, all that is written is all they could tell, well probably with some cryptic things that you have to read between the lines. Most of all, they hide the fingers that runs the keyboard, or in previous time, the ink and the pen. All the courage, rage, passion, and feelings addressed in the writing itself is somehow hidden, just like the face. Up to one point, my friend called our generation, "the keyboard generation". We don't talk, we type. 

I'm not trying to say that writing something to express yourself is such a bad or coward thing to do. The point I am trying to make is that, since you can hide pretty much safely behind the words -or the keyboard that is-, there's also a whole lot more of you that wasn't being expressed. Well if you want to say thank you to emoticons and stickers on instant messaging platforms, big thanks. Though, you would never do those silly faces or expression, aren't you? 

Expressing yourself in real-life waking moments is already hard enough, that when a wrong word slips out of your mouth, then BOOM! A fight begins or a heart break damage. Saying one of the sweet-sweet-magic word, then BOOM! You just swoon somebody of their feet. Sometimes, you just simply didn't meant what you say. Sometimes, it's just so hard to come across the right way you wanted. 

As I grew, I learned that I am not much of a talker. I hide perfectly behind words. I can give a little more time to what I am about to say when I am behind the keyboard. We can type, and if there's doubt, we just simply hit backspace and delete and retype and so on. Since nowadays we often communicate a lot with words and writings, I get very comfortable talking through all those instant messaging services, you name it. Until one of my close friend at that time living just across this country break this habit out of me. Because then, one day, the phone rang.

"Hello"

It was a turnover. Instead of talking through texts, we actually talk. It was very-very weird at first. I don't like it. It felt awkward. But then I guess, I played along. Much effort that this person takes to talk to me. Change mustn't be that bad. There must be fruit out of everything.

As time goes by, I learned that it's not that I am not much of a talker, it's just I don't feel comfortable talking and saying what I actually feel -obviously in this world of superiority of the extrovert ideals- out loud. Even worse, just trying to talk it out, it was scary. Things that I learned from this experience is that giving a voice to the words is merely just the first step. Two, the "editorial" part in having a conversation is a much more skill to grind. Three, honesty behind the words, also another important thing to work on. Both needs a balance, the words being written to someone and actually talking it out. Words, some are meant to be kept, and some are meant to be said.