Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Memories


Every person has their own ways of keeping memories -or not keeping it. As a very nostalgic person, I tend to keep a lot of things (in tangible form) mostly for sentimental reasons. I have been writing diaries and journals, probably since elementary school. Filling diaries with mundane kinds of stuff, boy-crush, teen-angst, to more introspective jot downs as I grew older. My laptop, phone, and external storage are almost always full of digital photos, and there are envelopes of printed pictures on my desk. Not to forget, food wraps, tickets from concerts, postcards, are scattered in my room.

Writing has been somehow therapeutic for me. It allows me to understand my feelings and rationalize it. Just like how you take notes in class to reread it again before a test; sometimes I re-read the things I wrote to recall memories, to see if I made progress, to see if any feelings change, basically to test my-self. There was once a period where I refuse to write things down, just because I don't want to make memories out of it. Some feelings and thoughts end up being buried somewhere in me, resurface as it pleases, and leaving me without control over it. 

With pictures, it's really more of a nostalgia. There are now apps that let you know what picture you took this date years ago. On certain days, you might get a simultaneous year of throwbacks, taking you year-by-year back. Re-calling memories visually often brings my thoughts to "this time last year, everything was totally different." Different kind of pictures can trigger good or bad feelings. Nonetheless, it visually shows changes (or no changes). 

But then, the relation of memories and the phrase "moving-on" become such a tricky phrase in this context. Re-calling memories doesn't mean you lived in the past and not being present. I believe people moved on from memories in their own unique ways. These memories have been a part of one's life. Though no longer present, I personally think it will never be entirely gone because it has made us and brought us to where we are today. Basically, we're stuck with it. But one thing to keep in mind, memories of the past better not hold us back from being present and pursuing a better future.

PS: multiple exposure photo-esque sourced from JPS