Unforeseen Circumstances

Sometimes we go on this journey. With a story unwritten even unforeseen. It is written as it goes and in the way, it surprises you in ways you couldn't even imagine. For me, ‘this’ particular journey I had this summer was one of it.

Prologue

It began with familiarizing oneself to one own self if that would make sense. It’s the introduction to the journey. It didn’t say much about the journey ahead, but there’s a glimpse of hope, excitement, and a tease of the element of surprise. At the end, there’s this some sort of conflict that was addressed. It pushed to the need of resolution that would need to be followed up by the next chapter.

Monologue

This is the part where everything seems to be drastically pouring in. A lot of this and that in addition to the conflict introduced in the prologue. But the whole thing is actually about surviving. It's like peeling layers of onions. Except, the onion is you. Each moment is a conflict itself which requires its own solution. And if you try to see in a bigger picture, these little moments might be a part of a solution to the big problem. Here lied the part where in the story you were being torn apart, you were put into a test -to the deepest-darkest-forest-, and still, you needed to be able to breathe and make your way out. Here, it was also the part where you would finally found that the weapon to face the Last King standing, lies within you. I mean it has been your journey all along. People you meet along the way were your clue, your aid, but they are not you. Gosh, that sounded super cheesy, but hey, you found the cure, the sword, the whatever. Nope, but it didn’t end there.

Epilogue

The last part is probably as crucial as the Monologue. This is where it all get tested. This is where you gather all your weapon and getting ready to face your ultimate mission. There will be hesitation, but hey, you have got everything you need now! This part might challenge you more as you might take one step forward and two steps back. But no! Thou shall not back down. As this may also become a prologue to the next journey, there’s always a glimpse of hope, excitement, and a tease of the element of surprise.

PS: Making everything go as planned is not easy --as universe always tackles you, but we'll see.

There's no place like home

Home is where the heart is. 

I originally wrote this a little while ago as a reflection of 2016 and opening up for 2017. The topic, I think, it's an always ongoing process, so here's to these feelings and the journey to discover home. One which I thought I had already understood what it meant before but then 2016 truly has brought a whole lot deeper meaning into it. So here's a little look at how 2016 set me homes. 

The beginning of the year was the beginning of my new journey. I just started applying for school, applying for scholarship, and thinking about embarking on a new phase. I didn't meticulously planned it. It was a now-or-never thing. I didn't prepare any back up plan. Just jump right through it. I just knew it had to work. It had to. There were few bumps in the road, sometimes I really felt like giving up or having second thoughts that may be this is not the path I'm supposed to take, but eventually things fell beautifully into place. I got accepted into the school I wanted and I got a scholarship to pursue it. It was a blessing beyond belief. That's the first milestone to the journey. Nothing yet related to finding homes, but it is the root.

Along the way, I started to meet new people. I was away from home for a quarantine of the scholarship programme, there I get to know new friends and those new friends become new family, they become "home" on that week I was away from home. I don't know how long those kinds of friendship that is formed on a time-frame kind of basis would last, but at that time that's your comfort of home. Then also came the time that I need to resign from my work-place, it was then I realised, the team I worked with and spent every working hours and every overtime hours kind of become also my family. They've hold another definition of home. It's like waving goodbye at a half-piece of you whilst holding on to the other half-piece in the other hand.

Then it was time for me to leave my friends and my family, my actual home, to pursue my dreams. It was not easy, trust me. I tried to cover up all the tears of saying goodbyes with laughter. I basically couldn't say good-bye at the airport cause soon I'll start bawling. It was also a scary thought to be in a new place, alone. But, no. Universe always have a surprise for you. In Norway, 10 937 km away from home. I have found another home, people that makes you feel loved and right at home. People that takes care of you and take you in their life, if not by fate, by choice. 

Close to the end of the year, I went on my first multi city-multi country trip. I met different people and traveled with different group of friends. It's then when I realised, when you're away from home, on that mini nomad portion of your time, you'll never feel alone -no matter where you are- as long as you're close to "home", those you invest your love in. Finding a home is a journey in which you'll discover yourself on the way. I'm still looking for it everywhere I go, every time. Because for me, home is a feeling. Home is where the heart is. Home is where love is, as Elbert Hubbard quotes the love you give away is the only love you keep. 

What Fits

Life is really trial and error, from the wake until we die. The past merely taught us on how to deal with the present, therefore. the past is a lesson.

About filling in what fits: I've learned that sometimes what you want isn't really what you need;it doesn't really fill in on what's empty deep inside. Fortunately, sometimes, what fits does arrived, so suddenly. And how long does it last? There is only uncertainty, for life is uncertain. And so again, another lesson learned. When that empty space is filled, you just cherish every moment within, while it last, or as if it would last forever. Because, there will be times when sometimes you got to let love -or universally speaking, something else- go, let it just pass through you, watering the dried soul, and then flow away.

It is so tempting to keep it, to hold on to it, as if it could last longer and perhaps forever. Maybe it's meant to be, but maybe it's just doing its job, filling in rough time. But then once again, who really knows?

"If you're looking for the love of your life, they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love" - Holstee Manifesto (video)

Keep your heart open. :)